Remember the episode of “Sex and the City” where Charlotte weds Harry? She has a particular streak of “bad luck” during her wedding, culminating with the toast given by Harry’s best man. After a botched one-night stand with Carry the night before, he uses the platform to chastise her for using him. Awkward! Or how about “28 Dresses”? Where Katherine Heigl outs her on-screen sister as a meat-eating carnivore party animal to her clearly conservative fiancé. That was like watching a bad car accident on-screen.
There are a variety of topics that should be off limits during a wedding speech, and sadly, they bore mentioning because they happen more often than you would think. Below are some topics that are clear wedding toast no-no’s. Spread the word and help to save the day from awkwardness!
1. Past relationships—Was your friend engaged before, or did she have so many college boyfriends that she won a superlative in the yearbook? Maybe she was the reigning champ of the “Walk of Shame.” While all of these things may seem like a good way to break the ice in your speech, they’re better left unsaid. You run the risk of making the entire room feel uncomfortable, not to mention opening up Pandora’s Box for your friend after the celebration comes to an end.
2. Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties—You know the old saying, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Somewhere along the way, it’s become seemingly acceptable to break this rule during wedding toasts. Recapping what happened during either is a major no-no during a wedding speech. If you’re even considering this, just imagine the mother of the bride’s face as the best man recounts a night in Vegas a la “The Hangover.” No thank you!
3. Relationship Troubles—Unfortunately, not every road to the altar is paved with the same shimmering, yellow bricks. Some couples stumble or have hiccups, and those setbacks are certainly not worth mentioning during a wedding toast. I know of a couple that was married despite the groom having found her cheating on him. Imagine if that had been brought up during the wedding toasts? Some things are better left unsaid.
4. Your Own Failed Marriage—I think we’ve all heard a toast that started, “If I would have met a woman like ____ (fill in the bride’s name), then maybe I’d still be married.” Oooph. This is not a way to open your wedding toast. The last thing you want to do is shift attention away from the bride and groom. So, even if it’s an inside joke that’s the funniest thing in the world to you and your groom friend, find a different way to introduce your point.
5. “I Never thought I’d See the Day that ___ Got Married!”—Was your friend a tried and true player during college? Or did he log a lot of hours on dating websites before he met his bride-to-be? Probably best to let sleeping dogs lie here. Shock and surprise can be misinterpreted in a variety of ways, like jealousy or spite. And for the others in the room, they will be able to cut the awkwardness with the cake knife.